It feels like a never-ending circle. Of the same mistakes. It's easy to get down on myself about what an inadequate mother I am. I want to focus on the positives more. And not be so hard on myself. Because that's when I turn hard on my kids.
When I step back and think, I'm not sure even what I want my life to look like, so I'm not sure why I'm so unsatisfied. I am so fortunate and I want to embrace remembering that. Everyday mothering is monotonous, all-consuming, sometimes lonely, tiring. But I want to focus on the part of it that is two tiny lives learning to be. Learning to love and discover. I don't want to forget to watch that. They are so precious, and if I'm not careful they'll be gone.