Sometimes I long for the life of creating. To have time, and personal space. I struggle, feeling out of control and like I am getting nowhere. Sometimes the feeling is short-lived, sometimes it lasts for weeks. But it always ends when I am somehow reminded of the worth of the job I am doing right now. I am so very blessed to be watching these little ones grow, to be a part of their lives. I don't want to miss it, and I want to be here when they need me.
I spend a fair bit more time than I used to jibbing the Internet and spying on Facebook, when I'm feeding, or lying with my babe at night etc. I've noticed how, interestingly, sometimes investigating all the wonderful creativity that's going on around me can make me feel sad and frustrated that I don't have the time to be a part of it. I find myself struggling to be content in my mothering role. I want to be creating tiny art works and meeting new friends at markets and shops and supporting handmade and, of course the list goes on! I feel mad at myself for being so caught up in keeping on top of the 'house', for doing everything else first....
Though I think there is room for improvement in wanting to 'keep up' instead of creating, I am so grateful for the last little while where I've realised, it's ok that I can't do it all, and my priority right now is to my little ones. I feel so happy that I can be love and nurture to them. The rest can wait. And I hope it will.
I do create 'bits' when I get a chance, and in our new house I have a beautiful huge space to overflow in! Here are a few bad photos
of my latest creations. Thanks for checking back here still! I'm going to try and write more. xx